The Priority Is You
The Priority Is You
It took me to sit in padded room for three days heavily medicated to realize that I had co
mpletely let myself go, literally I had lost myself. I could not believe that I had let myself get to that place. Yet I did.
In that mome
nt I was faced with two options. Stay down and keep falling deeper and deeper into anxiety and depression or get up. For me staying down was not an option. All the boiled-over anger and feelings of frustration
hand landed me in places in which I never want to return. All the years encouraging and supporting other women, using my work to help others realize their worth and that they deserve God’s best…Now it w
as time for me to apply my own work to the most difficult part of my own self.
It was time for me to do the deep-rooted internal work to face those inner demons that we often mask with a smile, overworking, denial of self, overeating, and other vices. This time something was different. I knew I was in the fight for my life. Although I felt like I was losing, God’s sp
irit kept reminding me that I was going to win. The word that kept resonating from within was transformation.
In a conversation I was having with someone, I shared with them my need for stability--- that I was tired of the rollercoaster rides in my relationships with others. Not expecting perfection but just stability. This person said to me “So what are you going to do about it?” In essence she was letting me know that it was in my control to make the necessary changes. That no one was to blame, no one was holding me back, but me. Wow…
Although change is good I knew I needed more than change. I needed transform
Transformation is defined as a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance…a metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal.
I remember watching the movie Creed (2015) in which Adonis Johnson (played by Michael B. “eyecandy” Jordan) was training for the biggest fight of his life. His trainer Rocky Balboa (played by Silvester Stallone) kept reminding him “It’s you against you”. His training was always to beat himself, to overcome his own negative thinking. He had to see himself differently. He had to shed the old way of thinking and take on a winning mindset. The lesson is that we can be our own worst enemy or we can be our own biggest cheerleader.
The transformation for myself meant that I had to evolve into a new way of thinking, I have to gain better eyesight to improve my vision, I have to get physically strong and mentally fit. I have to get serious about transformation or lose my life. The ironic part is that transformation is the death of that which can no longer sustain you for your future self. Transformation is a beautiful metamorphosis into what God already intended for you to be.
Transformation is the process, and the journey to the end goal. I have to make myself a priority if I ever want
to be of service to others.
So, I write all this to say; Making yourself a priority is not selfish, it is necessary. It is crucial to sustain you. Making yourself a priority is part of the transformation, it is your growth…it’s the pathway to your greatest potential. Is this journey perfect? Absolutely not. Transformation isn’t perfect…it’s the becoming that contains the priority of perfection. Perfection will come but not in our life time… So in that we can breathe a sigh of relief that we are the priority. The priority is you.
Your sis Irene