Check Your Circle

I am currently re-reading a book by Alice Walker called in Search of Our Mothers' Gardens in it is the following quote:

"no person is your friend (or kin) who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow and be perceived as fully blossomed as you were intended. Or who belittles in any fashion the gifts you labor so to bring into the world." [1]

Walker brought to the attention of African American women, that their stories had not been recognized by others. She encouraged black women to be responsible for knowing the gifts that they possess and to be mindful of those who they allow into their presence to either validate or dismiss those gifts. She warned that those who did not recognize the gifts that we have within are really not our friends but are our enemies.

When I read this quote I almost fell out of my chair, but I couldn’t because I was riding a charter bus to Chicago with a group of ladies lol! If you really meditate on this quote it will cause you to check your circle. Who are those who you have allowed to take up residence in your life? What role do they play? Do those who you've allowed into your circle build you up, or do they tear you down? Do they show interest in you or do they dismiss the passions inside you? Is your vision invisible to them? If it is, then you just may be invisible to them. I am not saying that everyone must participate in your dreams, but they should at the least be able to celebrate with you!

For me checking my circle did not require for me to make a big announcement or a Facebook post to call out those who have been missing in action. I quietly did an assessment and those individuals were place in categories based on the roles they play in my life. Some individuals I can count on to complain about some aspect of their lives. They never talk about future goals, they never inquire about mine. They only want to complain about the day. So, I know what to expect from them. So I limit my interaction with them. I keep them lifted in prayer, because people can always change, and I hope that others would always give me room to change for the better.

Then there are those that I have connected with that I immediately connected with. I was drawn to their passion for serving others and creating legacy. I call these dream builders. Dream builders inspire others, encourage and motivate others. They give opportunities, they create spaces for others to give birth to their passions. I am intentional about being and surrounding myself with dream builders. The more of them you have in your life the quicker you will begin to manifest your dreams and visions.

Finally, there are those who set out to sabotage another’s progress. These people are fully aware of what they are doing to cause interference in another’s life. The disruption is intentional either for their own selfish gain, or because they feel there’s not enough resources for everybody. These people are very small minded and lack vision. They desperately want to have vision but cannot rise above their own self-centered ideas of “taking action”. Those individuals really are harmless unless you allow them to come too close in the circle. They are powerless unless you give them power. So keep them at a distance. Individuals like this breakup friendships, cause division and chaos, but we know that greater is our God who we serve than any hatred thrown our way. We must think abundantly in order to live abundantly. There’s room for each of us at the table, there’s no need to sabotage!

If by the time you've finished this article your circle is seemingly nonexistence. That’s okay lol! You will be just fine. God always has a way of bringing those into our lives that we need at the right time, and he is always capable of changing hearts.

I truly believe in Roman 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

It will all work out just fine! Blessings to you on your journey!

[1] Walker, Alice. In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens: Prose (p. 36). Open Road Media. Kindle Edition.